Camp Fear
Characters:
Mark: The easily beaten professor who lacks responsibility and really is not a good teacher, has a mullet (hehe).
Jamie: Mark’s girlfriend and a whiny wanna-be pop rock queen, sadly she lives...
Wendy: nothing to say about her....
Tiffany: A whiny hiker who is kidnaped, drugged and has her throat cut to appease the great lake monster
Ace: The leader of the bikers, the dude accidentally sets The Druid on fire, no I will not explain how, it was too stupid
The Wino: A crazy old drunk who believes that the Mystic Mountains are filled with demons...
Roger: One of the party crashing bikers, not amazingly bright, goes for a swim to get Speedy’s coat and gets eaten by the monster
Speedy: Another one of the bikers, tries to rape Wendy but ends up being eaten by a lake monster.
The Druid: A huge monster of a man who has spent the last 2,000 years sacrificing people to appease the lake monster he worships to keep the end of the world from happining, gets caught on fire...
The Lake Monster: Actually it’s always referred to as a Sea Monster but since it’s in a lake I’ll just blame the script, wierdly enough kills more people that the actual “serial”killer...
Plot:
NOTE: this was taken from the back cover...
Instead of spending their spring break partying in Palm Springs, a group of sorority sisters decide to go camping with their professor. Their sexcapades are broken up when a druid stumble upon the coeds and decide they must be surrendered to the gods in order to avert Judgment Day. While a druid giant (Tiny Ron) builds his own Stonehenge for the sacrificial ceremony, will the campers come up with an escape plan in time?
Review:
Ha, I can’t believe I just sat through that whole mess of a film Camp Fear is not a slasher like the box cover will have you believe, it’s actually a cheesy movie about Y2K (the end of the world on the year 2000), the weirdest part is that it contains giant blue people, Indians, lake monsters, bike gangs, cowboys, Stonehenge, and cheerleaders... yet all of the film takes place in California Yes, as you might’ve expected this low budget trash film is horrible filled with some of the worst dialogue ever heard I mean it’s almost like they were stoned whilst writing this Honestly it’s funny as hell but not in the least bit scary, or gory for that matter. If you wanted to see a gory forgotten slasher flick, this is not it, hell Bambi is gorier All we get here is a fake slit throat I mean how much money is fake blood anyways??? I mean even for a budget of this caliber I would guess there was at least enough money tp buy red paint And the plot, don’t even get me started on the plot Nope, won’t do it, you can’t make me
The directing is for the most part average, nothing out of the ordinary or creative here. The acting sucks, with the wooden actors reading off of damned Que Cards Horrible, the only good thing is the late porn star actress Savannah in a short random shower scene. But honestly, I really can’t recommend this to anyone but the most hardened of the B movie fanatics, and possibly for those looking for a lake monster movie, god knows how hard those are to come by
Gore:
A slit throat and nothing else Pathetic
T&A:
Actually there is a lot of nudity in the beginning, followed by a extremely unsexy sex scene.
Bodycount:4
Final Rating:
1/5
Reviewed By: Ian Berling
Saturday, March 1, 2008
FInal Curtain
Final Curtain
Characters:
Jennifer: The main character, one of the helpers for the play, had a one night stand with Jim, dies when the theater suffers spontaneous combustion
Lawrence: A hobo who lives in the theater, killed by Barry. Played by the director by the way.
Barry: The “main” killer, a weird bald dude, seems nice enough, but murders people whit his weird daughter, killed when the building explodes.
Sanford Ash: The director of the play, had an affair with Jennifer, stabbed to death.
Jim: A actor who seems to be having an affair with about 5 different people, stabbed in the throat with a screwdriver.
Natasha: An experienced actress, had a thing for Sam, killed by a falling light.
Heidi: A young happy woman new to showbiz, but showbiz is not nice to her and she ends up getting her wrists slashed open, but wait, she’s actually not dead but the killer, really dies when the theater explodes... it randomly goes BOOM
Plot:
A troupe of actors are cast in a play that's rumored to be cursed, only to get picked off one by one, is it the curse or are their physco peoples among them?
Review:
Yep, just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, this atrocity shows up, and it’s horrible This film and all of it’s copies should be cast into the abyss for the Black Dragon to claim waste upon (Dissection fans will thank me for that). Anyways there is nothing good about this film, it sucks to put it simply There is no gore, the acting is horrible, the script...well I don’t really think there was a script to this so no comment there, the directing is.. Well better than anything else in this film and it’s still only mediocre The budget for this...”film” was a mere 6,000$ so I guess it actually could’ve turned out MUCH worse that it did, I’ll warn you now, this will not be a very long review, mainly due more towards the fact that it was only an hour long more than the fact that it sucks.
There really is not to say about this film...
Bodycount:9
Gore: Just some cheap blood, it sucked...
T&A: No
Final Rating: 1/5
Reviewed By: Ian Berling
Characters:
Jennifer: The main character, one of the helpers for the play, had a one night stand with Jim, dies when the theater suffers spontaneous combustion
Lawrence: A hobo who lives in the theater, killed by Barry. Played by the director by the way.
Barry: The “main” killer, a weird bald dude, seems nice enough, but murders people whit his weird daughter, killed when the building explodes.
Sanford Ash: The director of the play, had an affair with Jennifer, stabbed to death.
Jim: A actor who seems to be having an affair with about 5 different people, stabbed in the throat with a screwdriver.
Natasha: An experienced actress, had a thing for Sam, killed by a falling light.
Heidi: A young happy woman new to showbiz, but showbiz is not nice to her and she ends up getting her wrists slashed open, but wait, she’s actually not dead but the killer, really dies when the theater explodes... it randomly goes BOOM
Plot:
A troupe of actors are cast in a play that's rumored to be cursed, only to get picked off one by one, is it the curse or are their physco peoples among them?
Review:
Yep, just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, this atrocity shows up, and it’s horrible This film and all of it’s copies should be cast into the abyss for the Black Dragon to claim waste upon (Dissection fans will thank me for that). Anyways there is nothing good about this film, it sucks to put it simply There is no gore, the acting is horrible, the script...well I don’t really think there was a script to this so no comment there, the directing is.. Well better than anything else in this film and it’s still only mediocre The budget for this...”film” was a mere 6,000$ so I guess it actually could’ve turned out MUCH worse that it did, I’ll warn you now, this will not be a very long review, mainly due more towards the fact that it was only an hour long more than the fact that it sucks.
There really is not to say about this film...
Bodycount:9
Gore: Just some cheap blood, it sucked...
T&A: No
Final Rating: 1/5
Reviewed By: Ian Berling
Left For Dead
Left For Dead:
Characters:
Tommy: Our main character, not the brightest kid in the world, breaks his leg, god I never knew it could be so funny to watch a cripple get thrown down the stairs! (Yes, he survives though).
Blair: The man who started this whole thing, accidentally kills a man and for that he gets a mactete embedded in his head.
Nancy: Tommy's girlfriend, seems like a nice enough person, a stoner nonetheless but a good person, seems to attract blades, and in this case it seems quite terminal.
Clark: The sex fiend, I mean seriously he had sex with three different people in the movie, that is, before being impaled with a fire poker.
Detective Brakket: Ahh, seems he son is in a coma due Tommy and friends being stupid asses.
The Mask: Our killer, what a nice person hehe, it's too bad so many of the murders were non gory, Tommy must've been pissed about this also, as our killer ended up headless...
Plot:
One year ago a group of friends accidentally kill a thief, or so they thought. Now, one year later on Halloween night, someone is killing off the participants of that brutal slaying and anyone who gets in their way. Is the murders connected to the slaying of the thief? Will anyone survive this bloodbath? It's actually not much of a bloodbath but oh well.
Review:
YAWN! Thats it? All the hype and this is what I get? This is no more than a VERY average slasher film. I mean this typical slasher film has had gotten a rave review from Slasherpool.com, a website I highly respect, and this is what I get for taking his advice? This movie is cheesy and rather stupid ,I mean I think we all could see the twist miles away! I mean really is this all I got? It's a half assed rip off of almost every slasher in existence for god's sake! But, it did not completely suck! Here is a list of the good things and a list of the bad thing to be found in this movie:
GOOD THINGS:
Neck breaking fast pace.
Big bodycount.
Good effects.
Occasionally good directing.
Superb acting.
And lots of Sex!
BAD THINGS:
Unoriginal.
Not in the least bit suspenseful or scary.
Bad twist.
Occasionally half assed acting and directing.
Very goreless!
Very stereotypical characters.
I mean yeah it's got more good things than bad so thats always nice. What surprised me about this movie though is that there is almost no gore! Now normally this would not have bothered me but it had a big bodycount (15 people if I counted correctly), and out of those I'd say maybe 8 of them had any blood in them at all! Well I guess this movie isn't a complete waste, don't let my review screw with your going to see it, it's worth it, but not by a lot. I can gladly recommend this movie to any fan of slasher movies as it is just like every other slasher in existence!
T&A:
There is actually a lot of nudity in it!
Gore:
Some stabbings, a slashed throat, a knife through the stomach, a machete in the head, and a decapitation, not a lot considering the bodycount.
Bodycount:15
Final Score: 3.5
Reviewed by: Ian Berling
Characters:
Tommy: Our main character, not the brightest kid in the world, breaks his leg, god I never knew it could be so funny to watch a cripple get thrown down the stairs! (Yes, he survives though).
Blair: The man who started this whole thing, accidentally kills a man and for that he gets a mactete embedded in his head.
Nancy: Tommy's girlfriend, seems like a nice enough person, a stoner nonetheless but a good person, seems to attract blades, and in this case it seems quite terminal.
Clark: The sex fiend, I mean seriously he had sex with three different people in the movie, that is, before being impaled with a fire poker.
Detective Brakket: Ahh, seems he son is in a coma due Tommy and friends being stupid asses.
The Mask: Our killer, what a nice person hehe, it's too bad so many of the murders were non gory, Tommy must've been pissed about this also, as our killer ended up headless...
Plot:
One year ago a group of friends accidentally kill a thief, or so they thought. Now, one year later on Halloween night, someone is killing off the participants of that brutal slaying and anyone who gets in their way. Is the murders connected to the slaying of the thief? Will anyone survive this bloodbath? It's actually not much of a bloodbath but oh well.
Review:
YAWN! Thats it? All the hype and this is what I get? This is no more than a VERY average slasher film. I mean this typical slasher film has had gotten a rave review from Slasherpool.com, a website I highly respect, and this is what I get for taking his advice? This movie is cheesy and rather stupid ,I mean I think we all could see the twist miles away! I mean really is this all I got? It's a half assed rip off of almost every slasher in existence for god's sake! But, it did not completely suck! Here is a list of the good things and a list of the bad thing to be found in this movie:
GOOD THINGS:
Neck breaking fast pace.
Big bodycount.
Good effects.
Occasionally good directing.
Superb acting.
And lots of Sex!
BAD THINGS:
Unoriginal.
Not in the least bit suspenseful or scary.
Bad twist.
Occasionally half assed acting and directing.
Very goreless!
Very stereotypical characters.
I mean yeah it's got more good things than bad so thats always nice. What surprised me about this movie though is that there is almost no gore! Now normally this would not have bothered me but it had a big bodycount (15 people if I counted correctly), and out of those I'd say maybe 8 of them had any blood in them at all! Well I guess this movie isn't a complete waste, don't let my review screw with your going to see it, it's worth it, but not by a lot. I can gladly recommend this movie to any fan of slasher movies as it is just like every other slasher in existence!
T&A:
There is actually a lot of nudity in it!
Gore:
Some stabbings, a slashed throat, a knife through the stomach, a machete in the head, and a decapitation, not a lot considering the bodycount.
Bodycount:15
Final Score: 3.5
Reviewed by: Ian Berling
House Of Carnage
House Of Carnage
Characters:
Kelly: The closest thing to a main character we get, gets kidnaped beaten and raped, and the poor chick is brained by her shrink
John Powell: A reporter on the case of murders, not much more to say about this bland character.
The Shrink: Kelly’s shrink, who is a part of the cult, kills Kelly with a hammer....
The Reporter: A young girl who is doing a report for her local news station, beaten to death with a hammer.
The Killers: Three retards, a skinhead and a shrink who kidnap, murder, torture and rape girls, the tards suffer a missing hand and a head crushed, the skinhead is run over, and the shrink roams freely with the two remaining retards (yes the one without the hand survived).
Plot:
This will be short, umm, a cult of people kidnap, murder, torture and rape innocent women, until one decides to fights back... yeah thats pretty much it....
Review:
Hahahaha
Wow, what a pathetic movie It alone managed to have no plot, horrible acting, a horrible script, and just about everything else sucked, but unusually enough, it’s one of the few movies with that budget that can manage to make a watchable film, sure not a actual “good” film but it’s watchable for sure I mean it has some good gore, a few unusual plot twists(notice I didn’t say good plot twists), and a fair amount of nudity and Satanism spewed throughout.
This is really going to be a short review, but then again look at the movie I’m reviewing, it’s the no budget sequel to the equally mediocre film Day Of The Ax (2004), the directing is nothing special and the camera angles bugged me on occasion, and I hated the annoying cheap filter they added to the film to make it look like the film had been damaged ( I mean physically damaged), the “acting” is for the most part horrible, except for a few believable scenes from our main actress Sybl something... I forgot her last name, damn. Oh well, if you enjoyed the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre and don’t mind seeing a blatant rip-off with an even lower budget and a worse director, check it out, although many people have seen to hate this film a lot more than I do
Gore:
A couple of fingers chopped off, a severed head, a hand chopped off, a severed foot, some fake stabbings, and not a lot more.
T&A:
Some quick tit flashes in the beginning, but not a lot.
Bodycount:
13
Final Rating:
2/5
Reviewed By: Ian Berling
Characters:
Kelly: The closest thing to a main character we get, gets kidnaped beaten and raped, and the poor chick is brained by her shrink
John Powell: A reporter on the case of murders, not much more to say about this bland character.
The Shrink: Kelly’s shrink, who is a part of the cult, kills Kelly with a hammer....
The Reporter: A young girl who is doing a report for her local news station, beaten to death with a hammer.
The Killers: Three retards, a skinhead and a shrink who kidnap, murder, torture and rape girls, the tards suffer a missing hand and a head crushed, the skinhead is run over, and the shrink roams freely with the two remaining retards (yes the one without the hand survived).
Plot:
This will be short, umm, a cult of people kidnap, murder, torture and rape innocent women, until one decides to fights back... yeah thats pretty much it....
Review:
Hahahaha
Wow, what a pathetic movie It alone managed to have no plot, horrible acting, a horrible script, and just about everything else sucked, but unusually enough, it’s one of the few movies with that budget that can manage to make a watchable film, sure not a actual “good” film but it’s watchable for sure I mean it has some good gore, a few unusual plot twists(notice I didn’t say good plot twists), and a fair amount of nudity and Satanism spewed throughout.
This is really going to be a short review, but then again look at the movie I’m reviewing, it’s the no budget sequel to the equally mediocre film Day Of The Ax (2004), the directing is nothing special and the camera angles bugged me on occasion, and I hated the annoying cheap filter they added to the film to make it look like the film had been damaged ( I mean physically damaged), the “acting” is for the most part horrible, except for a few believable scenes from our main actress Sybl something... I forgot her last name, damn. Oh well, if you enjoyed the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre and don’t mind seeing a blatant rip-off with an even lower budget and a worse director, check it out, although many people have seen to hate this film a lot more than I do
Gore:
A couple of fingers chopped off, a severed head, a hand chopped off, a severed foot, some fake stabbings, and not a lot more.
T&A:
Some quick tit flashes in the beginning, but not a lot.
Bodycount:
13
Final Rating:
2/5
Reviewed By: Ian Berling
Wishmaster 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled
Wishmaster 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled
Characters:
Lisa: Our main character, and rather a whore, lived with a guy for 3 years without marrying him before falling in a trap from a evil love struck Djinn
Sam: Lisa’s boyfriend and a cripple, regains the ability to walk, but still dies while trying to save Lisa... that sword killed alotta people.
Tracy and Jennifer: Lisa’s co workers, die in this following order, death by uber orgasm, and decapitated
Steven: Dies pretty early, damn lawyer, has his face peeled off and his identity is stolen by the Wishmaster.
The Avenger: Out to kill Lisa so she won’t make any more wishes, goes around with a big sword shopping people up Killed by the Wishmaster...
The Wishmaster: A creepy demon/Djinn thing that loves Lisa, puts her though hell and back, literally haha, suffers a big sword in the stomach.
Plot:
A woman gets bought a ornamental box which breaks, exposing a jewel that unleashes the Djinn, a demon that’ll grant your deepest desires, for your soul The demon lies, cheats, tortures and kills everyone that keeps him from making the the wishes so he can bring back his condemned race of evil doers and murderers Will Lisa be able to save the world? Will Sam ever be able to walk? Will I watch the first three movies?
Review:
Well, this was pretty fun, sure it was kinda stupid and cheesy but damn, it was entertaining for sure This movie has some really cool gore in it as well as the awe inspiring makeup effects of the Djinn, even if the horns tend to look rubbery and wiggly every ow and then It does run slower than usual and there is a rather low bodycount in thins here film and the last 30 minutes felt more like a Fantasy movie than anything else. But since I have seen tons worse movie out there I can’t really give this a bad review, actually I can’t really give this a lot of a review seeing as there wasn’t a lot of plot in the movie, just the same as in the other three movies more or less.
The Directing is a mixed bag with the movie turning from cheesy to watch-able constantly The acting for the most part is pretty good, with the usual exception of a few bit characters of course
So I would probably recommend this for anyone into demon movies, or anyone that just wants to watch a fun, gory, cheesy movie, it’s definitely worth the time
Gore:
a face peeled off, a tongue pulled off, a nose cut off, a decapitation, a impalement, a sword in the stomach, blood splatter and more Very good
T&A:
Two brief sex scenes and a little bit of nudity.
Bodycount: 7
Rating:
3/5
Reviewed By: Ian Berling
Characters:
Lisa: Our main character, and rather a whore, lived with a guy for 3 years without marrying him before falling in a trap from a evil love struck Djinn
Sam: Lisa’s boyfriend and a cripple, regains the ability to walk, but still dies while trying to save Lisa... that sword killed alotta people.
Tracy and Jennifer: Lisa’s co workers, die in this following order, death by uber orgasm, and decapitated
Steven: Dies pretty early, damn lawyer, has his face peeled off and his identity is stolen by the Wishmaster.
The Avenger: Out to kill Lisa so she won’t make any more wishes, goes around with a big sword shopping people up Killed by the Wishmaster...
The Wishmaster: A creepy demon/Djinn thing that loves Lisa, puts her though hell and back, literally haha, suffers a big sword in the stomach.
Plot:
A woman gets bought a ornamental box which breaks, exposing a jewel that unleashes the Djinn, a demon that’ll grant your deepest desires, for your soul The demon lies, cheats, tortures and kills everyone that keeps him from making the the wishes so he can bring back his condemned race of evil doers and murderers Will Lisa be able to save the world? Will Sam ever be able to walk? Will I watch the first three movies?
Review:
Well, this was pretty fun, sure it was kinda stupid and cheesy but damn, it was entertaining for sure This movie has some really cool gore in it as well as the awe inspiring makeup effects of the Djinn, even if the horns tend to look rubbery and wiggly every ow and then It does run slower than usual and there is a rather low bodycount in thins here film and the last 30 minutes felt more like a Fantasy movie than anything else. But since I have seen tons worse movie out there I can’t really give this a bad review, actually I can’t really give this a lot of a review seeing as there wasn’t a lot of plot in the movie, just the same as in the other three movies more or less.
The Directing is a mixed bag with the movie turning from cheesy to watch-able constantly The acting for the most part is pretty good, with the usual exception of a few bit characters of course
So I would probably recommend this for anyone into demon movies, or anyone that just wants to watch a fun, gory, cheesy movie, it’s definitely worth the time
Gore:
a face peeled off, a tongue pulled off, a nose cut off, a decapitation, a impalement, a sword in the stomach, blood splatter and more Very good
T&A:
Two brief sex scenes and a little bit of nudity.
Bodycount: 7
Rating:
3/5
Reviewed By: Ian Berling
Primeval
Primeval
Characters:
Tim: Our main character, the leader and head reporter for the news place he works at, forced to go due to him screwing up a news report and ends up shot, stabbed, beaten and nearly eaten
(There is a homage to Gorerotted in that last sentence)
Aviva: ha, weird name, but I nice person who manages to end up shooting people stabbing people, setting up elaborite traps and dumping Croc sperm on people, it was her idea to go to the damned place in the first place
Matt: A croc expert and not the brightest person I’ve ever seen, poor dude, hit by a car then shot
Green: A old man who is hired as a guide, eaten by Gustav.
Jo-Jo: A local African who is trying to learn english so he can go to America, seems to be a good shot, now I was pretty sure this dude was dead for a while, but my was I surprised when I see him moving around in the fucking jeep, then on a plane to America, this dude’s got it lucky, although he was shot...
Steven: A black reporter who has some great lines in the movie and is good for a few laughs, but still winds up dead with a missing arm
The Guards: Aoko and the other guy, in order Aoko was dismembered and the other dude was shot by Jo-Jo...
Gustav (The dude): A mean bastard if there ever was one, seems to enjoy slaughtering families, ripped in half then has his head popped like a grape, quite fun it was
Gustav (The Croc): One bigass mother of a Croc, his here to eat people and when he gets the chance he damn right does his job, too bad he was more of a subplot then the most important character in the movie
Plot:
Hmm, a group of people try to stay alive in Africa while shooting a documentary about a 25 foot killer crocodile, the croc seems to have other plans though, and dinner seems to be one of them Will anyone survive this creatures reign of terror? Will anyone actually get killed by the croc? Why do you love me?
Review:
Apparently inspired by a true croc killer of sorts, this little flick starts off promisingly with a cool yet mildly cheesy and mostly off screen croc attack, sadly this got our hopes up for a killer croc movie. This turned out to be a of action movie with a killer crocodile thrown in it for good measure. Hell this movie really should’ve made up its mind on what it wanted to me, was it a killer croc movie, a action movie, or as the previews suggest, a slasher? Well it’s not a slasher, thats for sure Yes the preview is very misleading, If you were expecting a killer crocodile movie, you will be at least mildly disappointed, and if you somehow managed to figure out it was a dull action flick then you got it Alright then now that we got past that lets take a look at this ever genre changing beast of a movie, shall we? It is quite a fun movie to watch and is never really boring, so thats always a plus I personally thought the special effects were awesome I have no idea what everyone was bitching about, besides a few minor scenes in the earlier part of the film.
Sure the dialogue was less than average, and the plot was weird as hell. And that whole thing with the dog was unneeded and unnecessary, to say the least And it really lacked gore, that was one of the main things that bugged me. The gore is ALL from the croc and he only kills like 5 or 6 people, and half of those were off screen kills But what we did get was quite gruesome and brutal though, such as Greene’s death, and Gustav’s death and particular
The directing is awe-inspiring and very relaxing for the eyes as I thought it really showed off the more beautiful side of Africa. The acting was pretty good for most parts, although there were a few moments for everyone where the dialogue seemed forced. I can recommend this film for Creature Feature fans and I can see the fans of Sci-Fi channel having a blast with this
Gore:
a decapitation, a severed leg, a guy ripped in half, a crushed head, and not a lot more.
T&A:
Absolutely nothing
Bodycount:
25
Final Rating: 3/5
Reviewed By: Ian Berling
Characters:
Tim: Our main character, the leader and head reporter for the news place he works at, forced to go due to him screwing up a news report and ends up shot, stabbed, beaten and nearly eaten
(There is a homage to Gorerotted in that last sentence)
Aviva: ha, weird name, but I nice person who manages to end up shooting people stabbing people, setting up elaborite traps and dumping Croc sperm on people, it was her idea to go to the damned place in the first place
Matt: A croc expert and not the brightest person I’ve ever seen, poor dude, hit by a car then shot
Green: A old man who is hired as a guide, eaten by Gustav.
Jo-Jo: A local African who is trying to learn english so he can go to America, seems to be a good shot, now I was pretty sure this dude was dead for a while, but my was I surprised when I see him moving around in the fucking jeep, then on a plane to America, this dude’s got it lucky, although he was shot...
Steven: A black reporter who has some great lines in the movie and is good for a few laughs, but still winds up dead with a missing arm
The Guards: Aoko and the other guy, in order Aoko was dismembered and the other dude was shot by Jo-Jo...
Gustav (The dude): A mean bastard if there ever was one, seems to enjoy slaughtering families, ripped in half then has his head popped like a grape, quite fun it was
Gustav (The Croc): One bigass mother of a Croc, his here to eat people and when he gets the chance he damn right does his job, too bad he was more of a subplot then the most important character in the movie
Plot:
Hmm, a group of people try to stay alive in Africa while shooting a documentary about a 25 foot killer crocodile, the croc seems to have other plans though, and dinner seems to be one of them Will anyone survive this creatures reign of terror? Will anyone actually get killed by the croc? Why do you love me?
Review:
Apparently inspired by a true croc killer of sorts, this little flick starts off promisingly with a cool yet mildly cheesy and mostly off screen croc attack, sadly this got our hopes up for a killer croc movie. This turned out to be a of action movie with a killer crocodile thrown in it for good measure. Hell this movie really should’ve made up its mind on what it wanted to me, was it a killer croc movie, a action movie, or as the previews suggest, a slasher? Well it’s not a slasher, thats for sure Yes the preview is very misleading, If you were expecting a killer crocodile movie, you will be at least mildly disappointed, and if you somehow managed to figure out it was a dull action flick then you got it Alright then now that we got past that lets take a look at this ever genre changing beast of a movie, shall we? It is quite a fun movie to watch and is never really boring, so thats always a plus I personally thought the special effects were awesome I have no idea what everyone was bitching about, besides a few minor scenes in the earlier part of the film.
Sure the dialogue was less than average, and the plot was weird as hell. And that whole thing with the dog was unneeded and unnecessary, to say the least And it really lacked gore, that was one of the main things that bugged me. The gore is ALL from the croc and he only kills like 5 or 6 people, and half of those were off screen kills But what we did get was quite gruesome and brutal though, such as Greene’s death, and Gustav’s death and particular
The directing is awe-inspiring and very relaxing for the eyes as I thought it really showed off the more beautiful side of Africa. The acting was pretty good for most parts, although there were a few moments for everyone where the dialogue seemed forced. I can recommend this film for Creature Feature fans and I can see the fans of Sci-Fi channel having a blast with this
Gore:
a decapitation, a severed leg, a guy ripped in half, a crushed head, and not a lot more.
T&A:
Absolutely nothing
Bodycount:
25
Final Rating: 3/5
Reviewed By: Ian Berling
Heart Stopper
Heart Stopper
Characters:
Sarah: Our MAIN character, seems to be called a slut often and tries to kill herself by jumping in front of a car, that didn’t work though and she ends up befriending a stab victim and chased by a serial killer
Walter: One of the main characters, and one of the few survivors, nearly dies on multiple occasions
The Sheriff: A nice enough dude, captured John but ends up with his heart ripped out.
Denise Grafton: The head nurse, seems to want to die, and gets her wish whilst being beaten with a lead pipe
Doctor Drayis: A surgeon and one of the few remaining doctors at the hospital, has multiple holes pumped into his head
John Chambers: Yes our satanic killer, kills people by pulling out their hearts and sending them to Satan, killed in a giant tornado
Plot:
After a failed suicide attempt young Sarah wakes up in a hospital that is under attack by un-dead satanic serial killer John Chambers, with a serial killer on the loose the members of the closing hospital must teem together and fight back or die trying
Review:
This was a surprise This is a fairly entertaining slasher movie that has the feel and stench of the 80's all over it It is gorefilled, funny, entertaining, and worth a good rent It took long enough for a slasher not to use a twist ending and there was not one in here. Your never really bored throughout the film although the last half hour seems to drag a bit, I mean they did kill off almost all of the characters by the hour mark. But while it may be fun it is a very forgettable film and I can say that you will have forgotten most of it by the time you are done watching it
The directing is fairly good, really brings on the 80's feel and uses some interesting angles. The acting is fairly good as well, with good acting from all of the main characters and Robert Englund, although the rest of the characters seem to be lacking. This is one of my shortest reviews yet and I can still clearly understand why. Heart Stopper is a fun and enjoyable slasher movie but it is rather generic and forgettable. I would recommend this movie a good rental for all slasher fanatics I wouldn’t buy it as I can see that it’s not something I would watch more than once...
Gore:
a lot of gory hearts pulled out, a stomach pulled open, a needle in the eye, slashed face, and some blood splatter. Pretty good stuff.
T&A:
Nothing here.
Bodycount:
15
Final rating:
3/5
Reviewed by: Ian Berling
Characters:
Sarah: Our MAIN character, seems to be called a slut often and tries to kill herself by jumping in front of a car, that didn’t work though and she ends up befriending a stab victim and chased by a serial killer
Walter: One of the main characters, and one of the few survivors, nearly dies on multiple occasions
The Sheriff: A nice enough dude, captured John but ends up with his heart ripped out.
Denise Grafton: The head nurse, seems to want to die, and gets her wish whilst being beaten with a lead pipe
Doctor Drayis: A surgeon and one of the few remaining doctors at the hospital, has multiple holes pumped into his head
John Chambers: Yes our satanic killer, kills people by pulling out their hearts and sending them to Satan, killed in a giant tornado
Plot:
After a failed suicide attempt young Sarah wakes up in a hospital that is under attack by un-dead satanic serial killer John Chambers, with a serial killer on the loose the members of the closing hospital must teem together and fight back or die trying
Review:
This was a surprise This is a fairly entertaining slasher movie that has the feel and stench of the 80's all over it It is gorefilled, funny, entertaining, and worth a good rent It took long enough for a slasher not to use a twist ending and there was not one in here. Your never really bored throughout the film although the last half hour seems to drag a bit, I mean they did kill off almost all of the characters by the hour mark. But while it may be fun it is a very forgettable film and I can say that you will have forgotten most of it by the time you are done watching it
The directing is fairly good, really brings on the 80's feel and uses some interesting angles. The acting is fairly good as well, with good acting from all of the main characters and Robert Englund, although the rest of the characters seem to be lacking. This is one of my shortest reviews yet and I can still clearly understand why. Heart Stopper is a fun and enjoyable slasher movie but it is rather generic and forgettable. I would recommend this movie a good rental for all slasher fanatics I wouldn’t buy it as I can see that it’s not something I would watch more than once...
Gore:
a lot of gory hearts pulled out, a stomach pulled open, a needle in the eye, slashed face, and some blood splatter. Pretty good stuff.
T&A:
Nothing here.
Bodycount:
15
Final rating:
3/5
Reviewed by: Ian Berling
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