Alien Express

Alien Express

Characters:

Vick: The Main Character, really likes guns, and really hates aliens, put the two together and to get.... The movies Plot

Rosie: Vicks Ex Wife, A journalist for the senator, does a very bad job helping the senator, also survives.

Ralph: A very cool dude, Vick’s police partner, knows how to drive a helicopter, dies when his helicopter explodes. Poor dude...

Frank Rollings: A very fat Senator who is trying to run for president, he’s lucky it’s not meant literally, as he reminds me of the Pillsbury Duoghboy Eaten by like four of our friendly aliens.

Paul: A very, very horny/evil dude who is trying very hard to get in Rosie’s pants, the worlds biggest fucking wimp Gets eaten.

Phil Lawrence: A old army friend of Pillsbury (Frank), always wears army gear, another lucky survivor

Sam: a worker for the train, who is very nervous about everything, unbelievably survives

Charley: The conductor Of The Train, likes cracking really bad jokes and drinking, has acid splattered all over his face

Robert and Peter: The senators two bodyguards Robert has his chest pulled open, while Peter gets shot then eaten

Rus: A very weird man who cares so much for the environment he tries to kill the senator, Quite possibly gay, blows himself up

Jena: A woman who tries to help Vick by phone.

Scotty: Works for the train, lasts about 10 minutes before getting his face sprayed with acid Then his body is found with his stomach pulled open, not his lucky day, poor Scotty.

The Aliens: Our Friendly, green, small, acid spitting bastards, who hate people, look like a cross between a dog and paper mache`. When killed turn into blue gas





Plot:
Well not to much here, a alien accidently manages to get to earth and hide in a train that’s being taken to Las Vegas from god knows where. Well the alien multiplies and soon a little horde of these Bad Ass alien things are picking off the passengers and crew How will they stop them? What can go wrong? Why do I only have 2 subscribers to my blog?



Review:
Well, the movie starts off with some very cheap “Special” effects in outer space where the bad CGI meteor flies towards a bad CGI Earth in a amazingly Bad CGI scene The meteor hits the ground and kills two people before our alien bastard escapes and plays stowaway in a train that is taking the soon to be president to Las Vegas From there our alien starts killing off very stupid people and hatching eggs inside the bodies. Sooner than you’ll realize at least 10 of these buggers are going around trying to eat and kill as many people (and Lou Diamond Phillips) in a small cramped train. Oh and the train has 58 minutes to stop before they either blow up another train or go over a big cliff, so as you can tell life isn’t going too well for the passengers who are forced to kill the aliens (which turn into blue smoke when killed) in order to survive Well naturally something has to go wrong and people start flipping out on each other

The directing feels very amateurish and plain, but it is a Scifi channel original movie, so wadda you expect? The acting is actually pretty good, with the obvious exception of a couple of background characters. The Special Effects range from “Pretty Cool” to “Christ, That Was Supposed To Be Real”. I feel like I am going a little harsh on this movie as there are a couple of great scenes, but sadly those scenes are far apart and usually pretty quick. So I say, give this a chance if your into scifi/horror stuff and creature features. If not try to skip this one as there is just not enough going for it




Gore:
A gory severed hand, a opened chest, and
A bunch of gory dead bodies... needed a little more gore.



T&A:
None

Bodycount: 13

Rating 2/5



Reviewed By : Ian Berling

(Sorry For The Lack Of Pictures)