Camp Fear

Camp Fear

Characters:

Mark: The easily beaten professor who lacks responsibility and really is not a good teacher, has a mullet (hehe).

Jamie: Mark’s girlfriend and a whiny wanna-be pop rock queen, sadly she lives...

Wendy: nothing to say about her....

Tiffany: A whiny hiker who is kidnaped, drugged and has her throat cut to appease the great lake monster

Ace: The leader of the bikers, the dude accidentally sets The Druid on fire, no I will not explain how, it was too stupid

The Wino: A crazy old drunk who believes that the Mystic Mountains are filled with demons...

Roger: One of the party crashing bikers, not amazingly bright, goes for a swim to get Speedy’s coat and gets eaten by the monster

Speedy: Another one of the bikers, tries to rape Wendy but ends up being eaten by a lake monster.

The Druid: A huge monster of a man who has spent the last 2,000 years sacrificing people to appease the lake monster he worships to keep the end of the world from happining, gets caught on fire...

The Lake Monster: Actually it’s always referred to as a Sea Monster but since it’s in a lake I’ll just blame the script, wierdly enough kills more people that the actual “serial”killer...






Plot:
NOTE: this was taken from the back cover...

Instead of spending their spring break partying in Palm Springs, a group of sorority sisters decide to go camping with their professor. Their sexcapades are broken up when a druid stumble upon the coeds and decide they must be surrendered to the gods in order to avert Judgment Day. While a druid giant (Tiny Ron) builds his own Stonehenge for the sacrificial ceremony, will the campers come up with an escape plan in time?




Review:
Ha, I can’t believe I just sat through that whole mess of a film Camp Fear is not a slasher like the box cover will have you believe, it’s actually a cheesy movie about Y2K (the end of the world on the year 2000), the weirdest part is that it contains giant blue people, Indians, lake monsters, bike gangs, cowboys, Stonehenge, and cheerleaders... yet all of the film takes place in California Yes, as you might’ve expected this low budget trash film is horrible filled with some of the worst dialogue ever heard I mean it’s almost like they were stoned whilst writing this Honestly it’s funny as hell but not in the least bit scary, or gory for that matter. If you wanted to see a gory forgotten slasher flick, this is not it, hell Bambi is gorier All we get here is a fake slit throat I mean how much money is fake blood anyways??? I mean even for a budget of this caliber I would guess there was at least enough money tp buy red paint And the plot, don’t even get me started on the plot Nope, won’t do it, you can’t make me

The directing is for the most part average, nothing out of the ordinary or creative here. The acting sucks, with the wooden actors reading off of damned Que Cards Horrible, the only good thing is the late porn star actress Savannah in a short random shower scene. But honestly, I really can’t recommend this to anyone but the most hardened of the B movie fanatics, and possibly for those looking for a lake monster movie, god knows how hard those are to come by





Gore:
A slit throat and nothing else Pathetic


T&A:
Actually there is a lot of nudity in the beginning, followed by a extremely unsexy sex scene.


Bodycount:4

Final Rating:
1/5
Reviewed By: Ian Berling